Bathtime Musings in the quiet and splashes

I put Darcy in the bath to try to keep her busy and give me a moment to myself. I'm a few feet away but she can't see me. It's bee a very long day.
I'm really trying hard not to be "depressed", it just seems that so many things are against me. We are moving from Southern California (the place where everyone wants to be) to Springfield, MO. I found out I have hypothyroidism (so that's why I'm fat). We can't seem to find a house to move to when we get to the new state. Money is an issue as always. Doug's been out of town for a week and I'm going crazy with the heat and smoke from the fires. Tomorrow will hopefully improve a few of these troubles. It is tough for me to look at what is good in my life, especially when I'm alone with a two year old all day. I feel like I'm missing out on something. I rarely see any of my so-called friends (no, none of you have called me, so don't be mad at me...)
I mean, where am I in all this? What is going on around me that I am never a part of it?
Is it because I'm so sleep deprived? Is that why I'm unhappy? Or is that just making it all more clear?
For one thing I don't know how to entertain my small child here. She is bored or something. Without her sister around to play with she is a bit sad and roams around the house making messes.
All I really want to do is get in bed and watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn (see previous post...last about an hour).
I'm tired of looking at houses and praying that by the time we have to be there something will show up. We really wanted to get the tax credit but if we don't find something soon we won't get it. We don't want to be screwed with a bunch of taxes this year...
Sorry I'm grouchy. I promise to be better tomorrow or the next day. Gotta get the kid out of the tub. Half the water is on the floor. Yay.


  1. I was a mess when Wes was in Iceland and I was alone with Finn and Maya. I totally understand. And sometimes we just have those days when it all feels like it's compounding. And doesn't it feel like the mood or atmosphere is tainted around here in general with all of the fires? It FEELS different. I can tell it's affecting people.

  2. I had a few hours to blog hop tonight and enjoyed your blog. The soft blue background is so peeaceful.

    Hope you will stop by and visit my new Christmas blog. There is a great giveaway this week.

  3. Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry to read about this difficult time. I so wish I were there to let D play with Abe and share a Costco chicken. I know that sleep deprivation can make me depressed. I thought I was losing my mind when I was in a really bad state of insomnia two years ago. I'm glad to hear that Dr. Charles is helping with that. We should chat on the phone.