What Is Wrong With Me?

I found out last week that there could possibly be something "wrong" with me...be it a benign tumor or a cancerous one. Ever since I found out I've felt even worse. My brain and my body are teaming up on me and it was a week of feeling odd.

Sometime last year I thought I felt a lump in my neck, but wasn't really sure. I suppose I should have gone to a doctor, but since I don't like going and avoid it, I didn't go. Then in January I felt the lump again and it seemed larger and my husband could see it. 
It took me a few weeks to find a doctor and get an appointment. I went in, about a week after recovering from another cold. I was weighed (lost a few pounds!) and the nurse said my height was 5' 10", so their measuring devices are off. I'm about 5' 11 3/4"! 
My blood pressure was slightly elevated, like 144/76. But I hadn't slept well all week and I was slightly nervous meeting a new doctor. He came in and looked me over, I told him about the lump and he felt it. He said I should get bloodwork for my thyroid and get an ultrasound to measure the lump. He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, if it's cancer it's the best one you can get!" I was sitting their stunned that the "C" word was even mentioned! 

Basically, I left his office with an appointment for an ultrasound and a bandaid on my arm. 

A few days later I got the results of my bloodwork and the thyroid T3, T4, and TSH were all in normal ranges. A week later I went in at 7 a.m. for my ultrasound and a few hours later had the results as follows: 

Findings: The right lobe of thyroid measures 4.8 x 1.8 x 1.5 cm. The left lobe measures 4.9 x 1.6 x 1.1 cm. Inhomogeneous echogenicity involving the thyroid gland. There is a 1.0 x 1.0 x 0.6 cm nodule in the mid aspect of the right lobe of thyroid. In the left lobe, there is a small 6 mm cyst. Within the isthmus, a 1.7 x 2.0 x 1.4 cm nodule is identified. Impression: Inhomogeneous echogenicity involving the thyroid gland with small bilateral thyroid nodules. Dominant nodule within the isthmus measuring 1.7 x 2.0 x 1.4 cm. Correlation with a radionuclide study may be helpful for further assessment. 

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Then my new doctor left me a message (I was in a class) and said they'd like to refer me to an endocrinologist for a biopsy and/or the radionuclide study. I have called him back and now I'm waiting to hear from him again. Fun stuff eh?

It's been four days since he called me and since then I've read a bunch about both the study and the biopsy. Neither are good. If it's not cancerous then the biopsy is fine, since it won't release cancer cells into the lymph system. The radionuclide study can damage your thyroid and you'll have to be on medication for the rest of your life.

In these last four or five days I've had some strange symptoms that may or may not be related to the fact that I've taken myself off wheat and processed sugars. I've been feeling somewhat dizzy/disoriented a few times. When I'm sitting down I feel like I'm falling over backward (slightly). I've been extremely sensitive to odors...when I got my hair cut this week the hairspray made me feel weird. I'm worried my house is contaminated or something.

When I'm outside I feel fine. Driving, I feel fine. I was at a friend's house yesterday and I felt find after about an hour of being there.

The other night I ate apple crisp w/ organic whipped cream and felt fantastic! Slept like a baby!

Some other symptoms that I've just now thought of: when I drink too much caffeine my lips get tingly. My right eye has been swelling up and is really itchy. I put that down to eating peanuts too much. My eyes just feel pretty heavy to me, but I'm not sleepy.

I just don't want to feel like I'm not myself. I don't want to suffer. I hate pain. Don't we all? I just got over my frozen shoulder last year and the pain from that has improved 99%! I don't want to go back to that. I catch myself watching my little girls when they're not looking and wondering if I'm going to be around to watch them grow up. Is that stupid? Especially when I don't know what is wrong, right?

A few weeks ago before all this happened I was really focused on maybe moving to a new house, looking at new places to go to, getting adventurous, planning my 45th birthday canoe trip in the Boundary Waters, focusing on eating right and getting some exercise. And I even started listening to Women's Bible Study from CA. I felt like I might have some hope in this life I chose. Now I'm not sure.

Every little twinge I get, I'm over-analyzing. I guess I need a project and extra prayer.

I'll continue this after I chat with the doctor and the endocrinologist. Any thoughts?

1 comment:

  1. Well you'll certainly be in my prayers. I hope you are not facing anything serious. Hang in there!